| 1) Item/s that were expected to be in good (if not brand new) condition, but were discovered eventually that they weren't. 2)Someone who was once healthy and/or normal but isn't anymore due to unfortunate, traumatic events in his/her life | ||
I define it as ..............................ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once upon a time I was "normal". Once upon a time................... was a long time ago.
This blog will be short. I just wanted to get this out cause..............well I don't know why! I'm sitting here having a bottle of wine to myself and listening to "Pero Me Acuerdo De Ti" by Christina Aguilera on repeat and I just felt a strong urge to get on here.
As if I needed to explain to life that it's not my fault that I am the way I am. It's no my fault I swear.
I used to be able to trust!!! Fully trust! I used to be able to make simple choices without my mind being crowded by the thoughts of "what if" or fear for that matter.
When you're with someone you feel protected.........as if someone is there and it doesn't matter if the entire world turns their back on you because this one person won't! They will protect you and hold you safe in their arms and make you feel as if everything will work out somehow.
The person that I was supposed to turn to to make everything better.................... was the person I had to run from!
I felt I had no one to turn to. I was scared and alone and I won 't go in to details but I have been damaged beyond the point of repair I'm afraid.
And it seems like every time I glue a piece back it gets broken again.
Trust!!!!!! I just can't trust anyone!!! NO ONE!!!! And that hurts me because it makes me feel alone! Alone like I used to be before!!!!!
This feeling of not being able to trust anyone has led me to not even attempt to trust anyone! It's a cycle! A cycle that I am unable to break! It's like I'm wrapped in chains that are padlocked and someone has dropped me in the middle of the ocean. I just keep sinking deeper and deeper! The sad part is that when someone swims by me.............I try to kick them away. I don't want them near me!!! I keep thinking they want to add another chain when they could be trying to help.
It's not my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
